- By Nisha Rana
May 29, 2024
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Category
Relationships
The advancement of technology has made communication between two people feasible; even the language barrier is not a big deal. However, a long distance relationship can leave partners exhausted and feel the love is suffocating them, because they are not able to stay together in person, they only daydream of being close to the person they are in love with.
A relationship wherein partners are not in the same geographical regions but they continue their love relationship is called a long-distance relationship.
In a long distance relationship partners don’t see each other often in person instead they use apps, video calls to connect with each other.
Partners choose to stay connected via the Internet, apps, chats or video calls. However, no matter if you talk to each other everyday on video calls for hours or minutes, stay committed to each other, long distance relationships tend to fail.
Studies show that couples who were long-distance broke up within about three months of being together in person. There is some evidence suggesting that couples who are in long distance relationships indeed desire to reunite at some point of time and live together by getting married.
The main reason people try to keep going with this kind of relationship is because of the connection and bond formed between them; however, in some cases it is also found that the idea of settling down for the person ended when they met each other in person. Do you want to know why?
Do you want to understand the reason behind why long distance relationships usually fail?
Keep reading to find out the psychological reasons behind the end of a long distance relationship.
Long-distance relationships can fail for a variety of reasons:
1. Lack of Physical Proximity
A relationship is successful when all of the needs of both partners are met, but there’s always ups and downs.
Out of everything, a relationship without emotional and physical intimacy can make one feel lonely or unsatisfied after quite some time.
Distance between partners can intensify the relationship however, if it’s for too long, the partner tends to withdraw their interest. Only talking is not enough, the presence, the touch and other things are also crucial. Being apart for longer periods can turn the relationship into a hollow and depressing one.
The feelings of loneliness and detachment are not a sign of a healthy relationship and hence, people tend to break up by agreeing mutually in two or three months.
2. Communication Challenges
Communication is not a barrier as said previously however, the time zone can be. Many will agree that effective communication is the need in any relationship, and a conversation in person feels more authentic than talking over the Internet.
Studies have shown couples who were in a long distance relationship decided to break-up when they met for the first time in person.
The conversation in person can tell you a lot of things that you can’t understand via conversation online.
The distance often leads to lack of interest and detachment which also tends to leave people feeling unsatisfied. And on top of it, with different time zones, changing lifestyles, and work-life imbalance, it is more challenging to make the long distance relationship work or make it a priority by putting everything behind.
3. Trust Issues
Trust in each other is the foundation of a working relationship, and distance can easily strain it. Distance tends to compel people overthink everything about their partner, usually feeling that their partner might not be loyal to them as there’s lack of physical intimacy.
Distance can promote insecurities in partners and may cause barriers in meaningful conversation. This is one of the main reasons for breakup so that they don’t suffer through emptiness, fear of being betrayed, jealousy, overthinking or suspicion. Long distance compromises the mental peace and hence people decide to break-up for good.
4. Different or changing lifestyles and goals
When two people are in a relationship they plan their life and goal around their connection in order to stay together however, distance pushes them to think of their lifestyle, vision and goals. Learning to grow in different directions, pursuing new interests, careers, or social circles sound more logical. These transformations separate their path and can create emotional distance. At this point, a long distance relationship feels suffocating and straining mental peace and overall well-being.
5. Financial Burdens
Let’s be practical, a long-distance relationship can be costly. Traveling to see others involves buying tickets and bearing other expenses too and when you have to do it too often, it becomes an issue. For a person coming from a wealthy background might not be an issue but for many it would be.
People sometimes work two jobs to manage their finances and for that kind of person it’s going to burn a hole in their pocket.
This is why people think thoroughly and decide to break up if they are not fine with keeping the relationship digital or technology dependent. They want to experience love in the real world and be happy, which a long distance relationship cannot give.
6. Limited Shared Experiences
As mentioned above distance tends to make couples feel loneliness. A relationship means sharing life with each other, doing things together and enjoying them, experiencing and exploring the world together.
For bonding we do these things but distance can strain it out and leave you feeling alone and depressed.
Everybody dreams to be in a relationship where they can go out together on shopping, trips, candle light dinner, dance together, plan surprises, share food, and many other things. But Long-distance couples miss out on all of these and everyday activities, celebrations, which weakens the bond over time.
7. Uncertain Future
The future is unpredictable and uncertain. Not everything happens the way we want it. A long-distance relationship lacks the vision of the future, it is true. At the initial stage of a long distance relationship couples don’t see it coming.
But studies have shown that people after spending 2-3 months away from each other realize that their goals don't match anymore, and lifestyles can be a problem in the future. The idea of moving and adjusting from one place to another for the sake of a relationship may not make sense as well, when the future is not discussed. An uncertain future means no future at all, noticing the long distance relationship lacks vision and potential, breaking up sounds like a more logical decision.
Despite these reasons for break up, a relationship may survive the distance if it’s based on concrete expectations, and altruistic love. The distance might do the magic and strengthen the bond spiritually. However it’s a lot of work, hence people tend to break up for their mental well-being and easygoing life. We all can agree on that. There’s nothing more important than our own well-being, our life goals, happiness, and mental peace.
A long distance relationship takes too much attention and drives one’s focus at staying as connected as possible. Daydreaming about their partner and next meeting in person. Leaving them worried that if their partner meets someone else, they’ll be heart broken. All these kinds of thoughts live permanently in their heads hence, breaking-up seems more logical than putting the whole into the expectation that one day their imagination may become the reality.
FAQS
1. Can long-distance relationships last?
A long distance relationship demands a partner's loyalty, sacrifice of their desire to have physical intimacy, shared experiences in person, commitment and trust blindly. However, it is crucial to understand that relationships are not everything and their personal lives and goals also need their time, honesty, hard work and efforts hence, a long distance relationship usually ends in two to three months.
2. Do long-distance relationships work?
The answer depends on the couple's maturity level. Yes, a long distance relationship can work if there's trust, commitment, and a future planned.
However, that can also end if the distance between partners becomes the reason for arguments, detachment or one of them is longing for togetherness. If the trust is broken or a sense of insecurity is there, the stress will automatically follow itself. This may lead to thinking of ending the relationship for each other’s betterment instead of living a stressful and disrupted life.
3. How to leave a long-distance relationship?
It is fair to separate from each other, if you find this long distance relationship is not working for you. But you have to have an honest conversation about why it is not working for you and reasons why you think it’s best to break-up.
