My Version Of Glory

By Nisha Rana
May 29, 2024
Category
Relationships

Before you learn how to respond to a guilt trip, you should know, if you’re really being manipulated by this tactic. We are going to tell you what it means and if you’re being guilt tripped, what are the signs you need to be looking for, how to protect yourself against such mind games by creating healthy boundaries.

Guilt-trip is a technique used intentionally/unintentionally in a relationship or within family when someone wants to control your actions or behavior.

People usually with narcissistic nature may use this particular kind of manipulation tactic to trick you to gain control over your emotion and use it against you for their personal agenda.

This trickery involves making others feel bad about their decisions or actions.

Guilt-tripping gradually leads to increased feelings of anxiety in people which is detrimental to their mental health. So it is crucial to understand the intricate details of the effect on the mind due to guilt trips.

It is your responsibility to be aware of such malicious practices, in order to prevent such things happening with you.

Keep reading to know how you should respond to a guilt-trip:

There are 100% chances that you’ll one day meet a shrewd person, if not already. They come as a lesson in life, to show you the vile side of humans. The effects from this kind of manipulation may reside in your mind for a longer time and you may get triggered or feel a lack of confidence due to this.

Know the signs whether you’re being guilt-tripped or not:

Here are the usual behavior to notice, before it’s too late:

1. They are unapologetic of their actions and words. In fact they try to defend their actions by shifting blame on you or the other person, example would be, “If you think I am mean, then you should think of who turned me into this rude and mean person, yes, it’s you.”

2. They usually use sarcastic responses to attack you: For example, “oh, I’m so sorry, I chose to protect myself against emotional trauma you caused me. ”

3. Passive aggressive behavior, they may use words to express their anger and bitterness using kind words. But it clearly gives the idea that they are angry. For example, “I see you've made your decision. I'll just pretend like my opinion doesn't matter.”

4. Playing the victim card, this is the most common tactic used by them. They are always victimized by someone, if not someone then it’s fate plotting against them. They usually use sentences to make you feel sorry for them and remain on their side no matter how many mistakes they make in a relationship.
The most common sentence used is, “why this always happens to me, I always end up alone, it hurts to go through the same thing over and over and nobody understands me, not even you.”

5. They may choose silent treatment in some scenarios, to express their passive aggressive behavior. By ghosting you or choosing not to respond to your messages or calls, this way they keep you engaged in thinking that you’ve done wrong to them and hence, they are not talking to you.

6. Pretending to be naive and that you’re taking advantage of their timid nature. They make you feel like a monster, and they are the nicest person, you’ve been unkind and careless towards them.

7. Using your past mistakes as a weapon against you. Those mistakes could be minor or very common mistakes that people usually make at an early age. But they will make it look like a big issue that you make such poor decisions. They will keep you under the impression that if you leave them, it will be another big mistake you’ll make and there are going to be unbearable consequences as well.

If this behavior is persistent then you’re intentionally being emotionally abused and believe it or not, doing this over and over gives them satisfaction they can’t find anywhere else. This is why you need to set boundaries. If anyone crosses the limit, you should be mentally and emotionally strong enough to cut them off from your life for good.

How To Respond To A Guilt Trip?

1. Set Boundaries

To avoid guilt-tripping, be extremely explicit about your boundaries from the beginning.
Being able to communicate effectively and deciding what you will and won't tolerate in a relationship can help others understand what they can and cannot do with you.

2. Don't JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain):

You should never engage into an argument even though what they say is provoking and offensive. Avoid getting into a back-and-forth conversation that goes nowhere. Also, if you took the decision after weighing pros and cons there should not be further justification. By engaging in arguments, explanation you're trying to defend your skills of judgment in front of someone who’s trying to make you feel bad about your decision. They may play with their words to turn it all around and break your confidence. So, only listen and try to stay calm, don’t get provoked.

3. Stay Calm and Rational:

As mentioned earlier, try to stay calm, don’t get provoked. Because if you do anything or say anything, it will be used against you to cast doubt on your abilities and give you the impression that you're incapable of making your own judgment in life. Refrain from allowing your feelings to override your self-assurance. You’re not responsible for someone else's emotions or actions and even if your decision is going to be a mistake, you’ll grow from it.

4. Offer Alternatives:

By offering alternatives, if sounds appropriate, by doing this, you create an opportunity for yourself to make them agree with you this time, if they don’t agree at least it would calm them down. FOr example, this is very common practice between parents and children, when kids act stubborn to force you to buy them junk food or toys they already have, at that point parents offer kids some alternative to quit their stubborn behavior and be calm. This way you meet yours and theirs needs and avoid all the drama that drags you into unnecessary guilt.

5. Be Compassionate

No matter what’s happening, you should be strong enough and not lose calm in such situations and definitely not lose your compassion towards others. A person who frequently gets into guilt tripping someone is asking for something, whether they know it or not.
Don’t hesitate from asking them what it is they really need from you and how you can help them.
This may probably calm them down and think so that they can have an honest conversation with you and help stop their guilt-tripping behavior.

6. Be Your Own Support

If you feel they are drowning you into guilt unnecessarily and it is their repeated behavior, then don’t wait, they are not going to change, it’s a waste of your time.
You should voice it out, instead of tolerating it. Their feelings are not your responsibility; only yours are. In the event that your choice was just, you shouldn't be experiencing any remorse.

The right choice would be to confront the person on how you are feeling, and if they use manipulation further, it’s better cut the conversation off by telling them you are in full support of your own actions and decisions. Putting up with their behavior is only going to hurt you and break your confidence in the end.

The effects of guilt-tripping on one’s mind:

Guilt is an intense emotion that has the power to eventually alter your mental state. The power of manipulation should never be underestimated.
Even while your hands may be on the steering wheel, their mind is in reality driving your car, giving you the impression that you are in control of steering headed the right direction.

1. Increased Stress, Anxiety and Depression

A Heavy amount of guilt can put your mind into an adverse situation and reach a point where our mind boggles, lacks decision making skills, and instead of thinking of solving problems, the mind adapts a new habit of panicking, feeling anxiety and stress whenever you get challenges in life.
People who are dealing with guilt-tripping for a longer period have shown signs of increased levels of stress and anxiety as well as clinical depression.

2. Low Self-Esteem

Guilt tripping can degrade your life in many ways. It can cause you to experience low self-confidence and self-worth and that you don’t deserve better things in life. Excessive guilt causes a person to doubt their own judgment, skills and abilities and you more dwell into pain and suffering as if you deserve it. You end up feeling unworthy of love.

3. Resentment

It is natural to resent the person who always makes you feel small all of the time by using a guilt-tripping method of manipulation. However, the resentment doesn’t only limit itself to that person; it also makes you resent others who're trying to advise you or guide you. Due to being filled with resentment, you begin to hate everyone and start to behave irrationally around people who genuinely care for you.

4. Emotional Manipulation

Being manipulated emotionally doesn’t just affect one’s love relationship but also can make them more susceptible to emotional manipulation in other areas of their lives, as they may become accustomed to prioritizing others needs and feelings prior to theirs. This is the sign of feeling unworthy of anything great in life.