- By Nisha Rana
May 29, 2024
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Category
Relationships
Being with someone with the expectation of not feeling anything or expecting emotional intimacy is what is called casual dating; it allows one to have multiple flings or casual sex with anyone. This is the kind of relationship our young adults are inclined to in today’s time.
But they don’t realize that this is what actually keeps them from a lifetime of adventurous love experiences and cultivates them into mature, sensible human beings.
When you find true love, it changes you in a good way. You would want to become the best version of yourself. You love yourself, you find value in spending your life joyfully, and life is a journey that is meant to be cherished. You feel proud of what you’ve transformed into. This is the power of true love.
On the other hand, a bad partner or shallow person can transform you into a miserable person, and you lose your value. You see life as a struggle and a challenge.
To lead a good life, it's important that you understand the consequences of casual relationships in life. This article is not meant to scare you, but to show you the other side of casual dating.
Let’s find out what a casual relationship is and why people are leaning towards it:
What is this casual relationship?
The definition is simple. You hate to be lonely, and you don’t want anything serious.
A casual relationship never takes a serious road or lays the foundation of your future home sweet home, happily ever after Cinderella life.
If you’re with someone who is not looking forward to spending life with you or thinks that you’re not the one but still keeps you hooked up with them, they are not an ideal partner for you, and if you’re not comfortable with casually dating, you should not indulge in shallow relationships because it will only deteriorate your mental health. Put yourself first and leave them for your own betterment.
In casual relationships, you never discuss the future, plan family, or meet each other's family or friends. In the current period, it is a lifestyle, a trend, and almost every young adult is now following it and calling a meaningful love relationship a sickness to support a casual relationship in society.
But why is dating casually bad?
In simple words, even if you’re in a mutually agreed casual relationship, there is a high possibility that one may start to develop genuine feelings towards the other, whereas the other may not feel anything at all.
To avoid this situation, people jump from one person to another, which leaves the one who fell in love hurt.
Moving on generally is a difficult phase of life, and one needs healing from the heartbreak; however, they choose to avoid the whole incident rather than facing the challenge and gradually begin to reflect on their lifestyle and mindset too.
This is why this generation is more broken than ever. Not being accepted by the partner changes their idea of love, further leading to commitment phobia and heartbreak fears.
Does casual relationship show commitment phobia?
Yes, it does. As briefed above, commitment phobia can be formed due to bad breakups and betrayal. This is why people avoid emotional intimacy and choose casual dating rather than gathering the courage to find meaningful love and committed relationships.
Everyone is looking for love, even if they deny it. Everyone is looking for a partner who will reciprocate their love for them.
This is the second scenario where people develop a phobia of committing to the wrong person. One-sided love can never fill the void or the emptiness in one's life, so they want to be sure that they are making a fair decision for their life and their family.
Everyone is afraid of a person who has malice and bad intentions in their heart. Especially in today’s time, when many are rooting for a rich partner to maintain their lifestyle, yes, there are some valid reasons to live in fear of committing to a partner, but after knowing each other well, opening up to each other should eliminate the doubts and commitment fears.
Commitment phobia due to past failed relationships:
There are people who have lost faith in true love, and they are not to be judged. But it’s very common that people get cheated, left for someone else, or for their financial status.
If you find someone who hasn’t processed their feelings and is hateful towards love due to a past failed relationship, their baggage is not your problem. They need advice and time to heal, not your love.
Being with such a person will not change anything in them. A person who’s not healed will end up scaring you; that’s 100% for sure.
No amount of love and your kind words can change their mindset. If you are in one and still their mindset hasn’t changed, that’s an indication they are either lying or they’re immature to accept reality and be okay with the concept that getting hurt in love is the price you pay when you choose the wrong one to give your heart.
A mature person will change for you; they will see your effort and love instead of projecting their ex on you.
Can casual sex lead to a relationship?
I asked a few of my male and female friends to tell me what they thought of it, and I got mixed answers from them, but the majority of them answered straight NO!
Some of my male friends supported their no by giving a justification: if she finds me attractive and is ready to sleep with me, what’s the guarantee that she will not find other men attractive the next day and get into bed with them too? Even if she assures me that’s not going to happen, I’m sorry. I have trust issues, and that’s not a healthy relationship for me.
I want to stay focused on living the life I want to, and problems and insecurities are not what I imagine for my future. That’s not for me.
And then some of my female friends have to say that they also don’t think a partner with whom they are having casual sex is an ideal man to make a husband.
Both genders agreed that casual sex is only to fill their void while they are single.
While some say casual sex is not for them, they don’t even think of forming such a relationship in their lives. They’d rather be single than be in a shallow connection.
Then there were some who said, “Until you're not settled in life, it’s fine to have casual sex, but if there are feelings involved too, maybe giving that person a try might be worth it, but that hasn’t happened yet, so I don’t know.”
After talking and discussing with many of them, I can surely answer the question:
To find out more I looked for studies done on CREs, which stands for Casual sexual relationships and experiences. According to research, casual sex does have an impact on the psychological well-being of youth and is quite detrimental, to be honest. So engaging in such activities may disturb your mental health as well as lead you to addiction.
Casual sex lacks the emotional intimacy, care, and support we expect from a person, and it’s not healthy at all.
Casual relationships are a trend followed by emotional fools.
You’ll never hear a well-settled woman or a man say that they started it as a fling.
A person who knows what they want in life is very clear about their choices and believes in living a healthy and disciplined life.
They don’t want to feel like losers, and hence, when it comes to matters of the heart, they make fair decisions.
They know their priorities, understand life, and know how to manage it well. When they find a person worthy of their love, they don’t wait for fate to decide their future; instead, they decide the future of the relationship.
This casual relationship was invented by selfish people who just want to have fun and don’t care if others are getting hurt.
If you’re not a casual dating type of person, you should choose wisely because your decision will decide the next chapter in your life, and if you choose an emotionally unavailable, immature person, you should know that the next chapter is going to be “therapy.”
